Wagamama? Nothanksmama

Last night I went to see Paco de Lucia at the Barbican. He was magical. He made me want to eat little toasted sandwiches with chorizo and garlic, salted roasted almonds and patatas bravas, washed down with a glass of Rioja. Instead, I met-up with Spud beforehand and we had a quick meal in Wagamama.

This was my first visit to a Wagamama, and I wasn't really expecting much. But I was still very disappointed.

Wagamama is a chain of Japanese noodle restaurants. You sit at benches alongside other diners (even when the restaurant is three quarters empty) and they bring out your orders as they are cooked rather than together - this is seen as a novelty, when in fact it's a sign that the kitchen is poorly organised, IMHO.
I ordered 'eb chilli men', described on their menu as "stir-fried prawns, green peppers and carrots in a chilli sauce made from fresh
chillies, ginger, garlic, onion, lemongrass and red pepper. served with ramen
noodles".
In reality, this was three inch-square pieces of pepper, six or eight undercooked prawns (better, I guess, than overcooked), a bunch of slices of raw carrot in a sauce made-up entirely of... what? Tomatoes - not seeded, not peeled, just crushed. At least, they looked like tomatoes and tasted of nothing to me. There was a hint of chilli (powder at a guess) and some grated ginger which had been hanging around for ages, judging by its fibrous nature. And some tough (grated?) lemongrass. All of this served on a massive portion of overcooked, tasteless noodles.

Spud wasn't feeling too hungry, so had a couple of side dishes. The yasi gyoza (vegetable dumplings) that arrived (instead of the chicken version as ordered...) were unpleasant. The vegetables (billed as cabbage, carrot, water chestnut, onion, celery and chinese leaf) were milled and squashed into a homogenous grey paste flecked with green. I didn't taste, but they looked revolting.
The yasai yakatori (chargrilled vegetable skewers) that arrived were raw and coated in a sickly brown sauce. Maybe they were raw because we had sent back the chicken version that arrived by mistake (a theme is developing).
We also had tori kare age - marinated, deep-fried chicken - that was bizarrely hard and chewy.

All round, this was one of the most desperate meals out I've had. There were no redeeming points. The service was inept, the food consistently awful. According to their website, Wagamama celebrate consistency in everything they do. Well, if that's their standard, I won't be going back.

I'm sure there are hundreds of noodle bars you could choose from that beat this place hands-down - there are two in Streatham alone that do (Slurp and Oishi).

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